Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Bed-making yoga

Sleeping bags for bedding
Last nite, when we got back to Eolian after a long Christmas absence, neither Jane nor I felt up to tackling making the bed (OK, let's be frank - it's my job and I didn't feel up to it).  So my understanding wife and I sacked out in sleeping bags on the bare mattress. 

But there is no avoiding my tasks.  Today I must make the bed.  And because I enjoy it so much I am going to invite you along to help.

Get on those yoga clothes - you're going to need them.

The berth in the master cabin on Eolian accepts queen-sized bedding.  But with a twist.  All normal beds are rectangular, of course.  But not ours.  The bottom corners are chopped off because the hull turns in.  Oh yeah, and the bottom three feet or so are under the ledge formed by the aft deck lazarettes, above.  This last little detail just adds spice to the task, don't you think?  And it is the reason for the yoga togs we're wearing.

Clear the field
The first order of business?  Clear the field.  Get the sleeping bags back into their stuff sacks and stored where they normally go - into the storage compartments under the mattress.

Next on the agenda:  The bottom sheet.  You will note that we will be making the bed... while sitting on the bed!  No walking around the outside, grasshopper.  This just adds to the fun!

We use fitted sheets on Eolian, but that doesn't take you very far.  First, the mattress is thinner than a "normal" mattress, and then there are those cut-off corners...  How to make the sheet fit tightly (nobody likes loose sheets)?  Here, I've done the first bit of yoga and gotten the sheet into place.  And no, it isn't tight.  At all.  And you might also notice that I am working around the ex-electric blanket.  It is still attached to its umbilical, which runs under the mattress.  So I have to shove it over to one side, arrange the sheet, and then shove it over to the other side and arrange the sheet again.  All for an electric blanket that doesn't work.

Garters - the answer to a man's dream
So how do we make the sheet tight?  When we first moved aboard, Jane was discussing this very problem with a sales clerk at Fred Meyer (Jane is bold that way).  Amazingly, the clerk told Jane that other customers had found these garters to be the very thing to solve the problem.  Isn't it great living in a maritime community?

What we do is pull up the corners of the mattress, stretch the garters across the corners of the sheet, under the mattress.  Then you just tuck the extra material in under the garter.  I'm sorry that this and the next couple of pictures came out blurry because I rushed the camera.  But I'm not going to take apart the bed to get better ones. 

By doing this, the sheet is so tight that when you let the mattress go back down after applying the last garter, it does so kind of reluctantly.  And the sheet is tight as a drum.  All thanks to a knowledgeable sales clerk in Fred Meyer

OK, take a sip of beer.  You were drinking a beer weren't you?  The hardest part is done.

Now apply the top sheet.  Tuck those bottom corners in all the way - otherwise a covers-stealing spouse might be able to sneak away your sheet.

Repeat with the ex-electric blanket.  I have blamed the inverter for the demise of several electric blankets on Eolian, but really, I think it is the folding and jamming that occurs at those bottom corners that causes them to fail.

And now, finally, the comforter.  (Tuck those corners in!)  Place the pillows carefully, but cheerfully on the bed to give a picture of planned casualness.

And, now you may finish that beer.  Boat yoga and beer are natural partners.



Team Giddyup said...

You were drinking a beer weren't you?

But of course!

Deborah said...

That made me laugh. I can totally relate to making the bed while you're on it. We don't bother with a top sheet, though; too much trouble. The garters are a brilliant idea!

Anonymous said...

I was in the Navy for 28 years, and we didn't call them garters, 'cause too many men wore them to connect their shirttails to their socks (keeps your uniform from looking like a a sack with a bulge in the middle).

So "shirt stays" is the term we preferred. Feel free to use it if "garters" bothers you.

Robert Salnick said...

Rick -

Shirt stays - yeah, I like that. How about 'sheet stays' - even sounds vaguely nautical...


Robert Salnick said...

Deborah -

All the credit for the 'sheet stays' goes to Jane


Robert Salnick said...

Livia -


Deb said...

On our last boat Nomad I made fitted sheets for the Vberth. I laid the sheet over the mattress and marked the outline with chalk. Then I cut it plus the depth of the mattress and sewed new elastic on it. It was great because all you had to do was hook the tip on and then you could put the other corners on while standing at the end of the bed. I just haven't gotten around to doing it on Kintala yet. We're using the jersey sheets now which stay put easier.

S/V Kintala

Drew Frye said...

Yup, custom fitted sheets are the way to go. In fact, go one step further and add a draw string; it really is worth the trouble. My last boat had some odd bunks and the drawstrings were a life saver. The PDQ tates standard queen bedding.

On top sheets, I always sew a pocket (about 18 inches) in the foot that holds the mattress. Not only do they stay in place better, making the bed is much easier (fit the pocket around the mattress and then just tug it up to set it).

Robert Salnick said...

Deb & Drew -

Ok thanks. Now I am brimming with ideas. Time to get out the sewing machine, I think

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