Bed-making yoga

Sleeping bags for bedding

Last nite, when we got back to Eolian after a long Christmas absence, neither Jane nor I felt up to tackling making the bed (OK, let's be frank - it's my job and I didn't feel up to it).  So my understanding wife and I sacked out in sleeping bags on the bare mattress. 

But there is no avoiding my tasks.  Today I must make the bed.  And because I enjoy it so much I am going to invite you along to help.

Get on those yoga clothes - you're going to need them.

The berth in the master cabin on Eolian accepts queen-sized bedding.  But with a twist.  All normal beds are rectangular, of course.  But not ours.  The bottom corners are chopped off because the hull turns in.  Oh yeah, and the bottom three feet or so are under the ledge formed by the aft deck lazarettes, above.  This last little detail just adds spice to the task, don't you think?  And it is the reason for the yoga togs we're wearing.

Clear the field

The first order of business?  Clear the field.  Get the sleeping bags back into their stuff sacks and stored where they normally go - into the storage compartments under the mattress.

Next on the agenda:  The bottom sheet.  You will note that we will be making the bed... while sitting on the bed!  No walking around the outside, grasshopper.  This just adds to the fun!

Loose

We use fitted sheets on Eolian, but that doesn't take you very far.  First, the mattress is thinner than a "normal" mattress, and then there are those cut-off corners...  How to make the sheet fit tightly (nobody likes loose sheets)?  Here, I've done the first bit of yoga and gotten the sheet into place.  And no, it isn't tight.  At all.  And you might also notice that I am working around the ex-electric blanket.  It is still attached to its umbilical, which runs under the mattress.  So I have to shove it over to one side, arrange the sheet, and then shove it over to the other side and arrange the sheet again.  All for an electric blanket that doesn't work.

Garters - the answer to a man's dream

So how do we make the sheet tight?  When we first moved aboard, Jane was discussing this very problem with a sales clerk at Fred Meyer (Jane is bold that way).  Amazingly, the clerk told Jane that other customers had found these garters to be the very thing to solve the problem.  Isn't it great living in a maritime community?

Streeeeetch

Tight.

What we do is pull up the corners of the mattress, stretch the garters across the corners of the sheet, under the mattress.  Then you just tuck the extra material in under the garter.  I'm sorry that this and the next couple of pictures came out blurry because I rushed the camera.  But I'm not going to take apart the bed to get better ones. 

By doing this, the sheet is so tight that when you let the mattress go back down after applying the last garter, it does so kind of reluctantly.  And the sheet is tight as a drum.  All thanks to a knowledgeable sales clerk in Fred Meyer

OK, take a sip of beer.  You were drinking a beer weren't you?  The hardest part is done.

Now apply the top sheet.  Tuck those bottom corners in all the way - otherwise a covers-stealing spouse might be able to sneak away your sheet.

Repeat with the ex-electric blanket.  I have blamed the inverter for the demise of several electric blankets on Eolian, but really, I think it is the folding and jamming that occurs at those bottom corners that causes them to fail.


And now, finally, the comforter.  (Tuck those corners in!)  Place the pillows carefully, but cheerfully on the bed to give a picture of planned casualness.

And, now you may finish that beer.  Boat yoga and beer are natural partners.

Bed-making yoga